Paying my respect to all that 9/11 had an overwhelming effect on!
My Thoughts Are On "The Deeper Than Me Side of Life Today"
Why Because It Is 9/11 and on that day, I was on the phone with my friend Jerry who happen to work in one of towers that was hit, he was trying to telling me to hurry up and come hang out with him, and have an early lunch at the World Trade Center, so he was fussing “hurry up and get dressed because I had”, while he was doing his fussing thing, he said “Sammi do not hang up, I will be right back” I put the telephone on speaker phone, so I can get dressed and know when he was back. And I thought “how dare I get put on hold,” laughing because I was excited about seeing Jerry. He was gone from what seemed like such a long time; He comes back to say, I have to go, no reason why, just he will call me and explain later, I said okay and thought to myself was that fear in his voice. Jerry is not afraid of anything.
(Little did I know the events that would change my life forever)
The TV was on and I continue to get dressed, because when he called me back I was going to be at the World Trade Center to say what up big head, but that never happen...
Because as I stood in the living room watching the late breaking news, I watch a plane fly into the World Trade Center Tower, I was like “hell nawl, I did not just see that!” As I Watch them do an instant replay like life just became a giant baseball game and u had to see that home run again. Then they show the other plane hit the other tower. And moments later I watch the first tower implode and then the second tower come down like I just watch them get rid of an old abandon building that was no longer needed,
And my mind raced to James, and I began to call ever number I could think of, begging and pleading and trying to will people to have information on Jerry!
Lord God! With each “No Sammi” I got, my mind began to pray just let Jerry be okay, please allow all the people in his building to have gotten out, But as we all know many people lost their lives that day, along with many injuries and illnesses’ and people still suffer with a wounded spirit because of that day including Jerry!
To this day I still think if I had followed the plan I would have been in the World Trade Center or down in the tunnels at the center when all that happen, but I had over slept, and that is why Jerry was fussing at me to hurry up and get dress. He is okay because just before the tower had come down he and this group of people jumped right before the stairs gave way. He busted up his legs in the jump, he has pins in one leg it took forever for him to re-learn how to walk and lives with the thoughts so many people died and my co-workers are gone.
May I never forget how this day changed my life forever...
A Tribute to Why Is My Heart So Heavy
Life After 9-11
Why Is My Heart So Heavy
This Is Long But I Am Not Sorry It Is So Please
Bare With Me...
I Have Not Posted That Much Lately Because
My Heart Is Oh So Very Heavy...
So As I Sit Here Thinking And Wondering
Why My Heart Is So Heavy...
"Why Is My Heart So Heavy ???"
I Am So Grateful That We Are All Alive & Well
Oh How My Tears Being To Flow!!!
I Email Or Get Email...
Oh How My Tears Being To Flow...
I Watch & Read The News Lately,
Oh How My Tears Being To Flow...
I See Strangers Embrace In A Hug Or Kiss,
Oh How My Tears Being To Flow...
I See Men And Woman All Around Me Showing Emotion,
Oh How My Tears Being To Flow...
I Take A Walk To The Store For Nothing
More Than A Five Cent Piece Of Bubble Gum,
Oh How My Tears Being To Flow...
I Read Messages From The Net,
Oh How My Tears Being To Flow...
I Hear A Baby's Yell Or A Car Door Slam,
Oh How My Tears Being To Flow...
I Watch A Mother And Child Or A Father And Child,
Oh How My Tears Being To Flow...
I Hear The Sweet Familiar Sound Of A Deep Husky Voice
I Know On The Phone,
Oh How My Tears Being To Flow...
I Debate, Argue Or Get Pissed With Someone I Know,
Oh How My Tears Being To Flow...
I Listen To A Song That Moves My Soul As It Always Have
Where I Find My Self Dancing,
Oh How My Tears Being To Flow...
I Look Out My Window & Think What A Beautiful Day,
Oh How My Tears Being To Flow...
I Have Done All These Things And So Much More
In The Past Few Days Since 9-11-01...
And As I Sit And Write These Words To You All
Oh How My Tears Being To Flow...
Is It Just That Samantha Is More sensitive To Life Lately Not Wanting To
Ever Take Anything For Granted Ever Again...
I Know That We Are Fine
I Know Some Were Injured
I Know That Some Things Were Destroyed...
And I Now That We Will Rebuild And Life Will Go On As If
It Never Really Changed At All...
But My Heart Is Still Heavy And I Am Still Crying...
I Cry Because I Have Life...
And Some Will Never Do, What I Can Do,
Say, See, Or Hear Again...
I Cry Because I Live In A Beautiful Country...
I See Flags Flying All Around Us, People Wearing Red White And Blue...
I See Us Proud For The First Time In A Long Time
To Say We Our Americans...
I See This Country Go Back To Praying To Our Heavenly Father...
I See People Being Kind And Compassionate To One Another,
And It Is Not Thanksgiving Or Christmas Day...
We Know That Most Are Only Caring During Certain Times Of The Year...
I See Around The World People Reaching Out To America For A Change,
Instead Of Us Being There For Just Them...
I See This Country And The World Coming Together
Like Never Before...
I Feel Hurt, Joy, And Sadness, All At The Same Time...
I Am Reaching Out, To All With Open Arms And Heart...
I Usually Like & Love Folks From A Distance You Know Not To Close...
Since People I Truly Loved Died, Were Killed, Murdered Or Just Left And
Went Away...
I Was Done With The Humans, Cuz You Folks Die And Stuff...
So If I Do Not Reach Out I Can't Be Hurt When You Leave Me...
At Least That How It Was In My Heart & Head...
But After The Morning Of 9-11 My Life Will Never Be The Same Again...
Cuz I Realized I Have Been Merely Existing In Life,
Instead Of Living My Life To The Fullest...
Pushing People Away Because I Hurt...
And Never Wanted To Feel The Pain Of Loss Every Again...
But Now I Have No Family Or Friends
And I Am Truly Alone Now...
I Think I Could Be One Of The People Who Lost Her Life On 9-11
And No One Would Know...
Know That I Was Missing, Sick, Injured, Lost, Or Dying...
That Thought Scares Me So, To Die Alone...
I Am Sad By All Who Lost Their Life...
But I Am Happy I Have Another Chance To Reach Out To The Human Race,
Get A New Family And Make Friends
And Never Push People Or Love Away Again...
Why Is My Heart So Heavy?
Answer:
Because I Am Alive And I Can Live Today
With Love In My Heart And Receive It...
It Is My Prayer That God Bless Each And Every Last One Of You...
Thank You For Taking The Time To Make Me Smile,
Stop, Think, Reflect, And Live Again...
I Am Overwhelmed And So Very Grateful...
Peace & Blessing
Always
Sammi
Written By Samantha MahMi aka SeXi Floetic One
On Sept.15th 2001 @ 11:34 PM
2001 (All rights reserved)
